Music is my Church

I stole this title from Mackelmore's song entitled "Church".  I love this song.  It expresses exactly how I feel.  My version of god is my own and I can feel connected to him and everything else in the universe when I am listening to music.  It's a part of me.  It is me.

I connect with the world and myself through music.  I don't think people can fully understand how much music means to me.  Or maybe they do because they also have music running through their veins.

I am lucky because I live with musicians.  My husband is a music creator.  He can play the guitar and sing like nobody's business.  Here is his and my son's cover of Alice Cooper's "I am made of you".  He is so very talented, which is part of the reason I fell for him (he used to play me songs over yahoo chat--we met online 10 years ago).  I could just get lost in his songs, whether he wrote them or not.  He wrote me many songs and always made me CD's.

It just makes sense I'd marry a creative musician <3  Well, not to mention he's also the bee's knees in every other way *wink wink*

My 17 year old son plays the bass and is amazing singer (he has a bass voice, figures he'd play the bass then LOL).  He is completely self-taught (as am I and my hubby) and is really, really good.  We unschool and he takes it upon himself to learn what he needs to know in music.  No prodding needed from mom and dad :)  We just gave him my hubby's old 4-string and now he's bought a 5-string and plays regularly with my hubby.  He also practices daily in his room when he's alone.  Music runs through his veins as well.

I play the violin, keyboard/piano, and ukulele.  Right now I have a pink uke, and a pink violin, and no keyboard (mine broke).  I love to create music, but I think today I love to listen to it more.



Nature and music are what makes me come alive.  Put them together and you have my perfect "church".  I will get out my hammock, put on some headphones, get out some art supplies, and just live.

When I am in my church, I don't need to repent (the music does that for me).  I don't need to ask for forgiveness (the music always forgives me).  I don't need to pray (the words in the songs are my prayer).  I don't need kneel (I just need to be comfortable).  I don't need to donate my money (I already bought the CD silly!).  I don't need to hear a sermon (the words are my sermon).

Music uplifts me, forgives me, loves me, gives me what I need.  It can quell my anger, my sadness, my broken heart.  It can take a beautiful day and make it a million times more beautiful.  It can energize me to make a difference in the world.  I can't fix anything and everything I need it to.  Music is not only my church, it is my religion (if I had one).  RUU is a statement that says "I know nothing", but music the closest thing I have to an actual religion.  It's everything I need when I need something.  When there is no one to turn to, I turn to music.  It fills me up until I am whole again.  It mends my broken parts.  It is my healer, my lover, my goddess.  It is me.

I think if you'd take a look at my DNA, it would be made of musical notes, infused with lyrics of life.  My soul is made from music (and other forms of creativity).  I think when I die, when (and if) my soul leaves my body to go join the universe, a melody will be heard by those near me.  A tinkling of chimes.  A few notes on a piano.  The strum of guitar.  A chorus of violins playing my tune.

As a child, music meant more to me than anything.  I NEEDED it then, desperately.  Music was my escape.  When my parents would say horrible things to me or about me in their yelling and screaming, I would put on the opposite side of my 45 LP of "We Are the World", which was "Grace" by Quincy Jones.  I would be bawling my eyes out, but when I turned on this song, I would just listen.  I would it take me away.  And soon as those synth horns started, I would be gone.  No longer in my body.  I became the music.

 And by the time it was done, I'd "wake up" (though not asleep---it was like I was in a trance).  And I'd feel 100% fine.  Nothing mattered anymore. I didn't feel angry.  Sad.  Or otherwise.  I just felt....complete.  Serene.  Steady.  Perfect.

If they were still yelling, it no longer mattered.  Nothing mattered.  I was so calm and centered that nothing could bother me for the rest of the day.

Growing up, my walkman was glued to my hip.  I never went anywhere without my headphones and some great cassette tapes.  Cyndi Lauper was who I identified with most growing up, as she was also an "outcast" like me.  Her lyrics are musical style fit this persona as well.  It fit my persona.

When someone asks me "what is your favorite type of music?" I say "all of it".  Because it is.  I have varied musical tastes, anywhere from bluegrass, to indie, to rap, to metal.  And everything in between.

All music speaks to me.  And while I don't play much violin or piano anymore, or my ukulele, I still enjoy music for what it means to me.  I like to listen more than I feel the need to create it.  And I like to listen to it LOUD (thank goodness for my surround sound system!).  I like to feel my music, experience it, not just hear it.

Music is who I am, and who I'll always be.  It is my savior, my god, my church, and my religion.  Music is always religious experience for me, even if it's just listening to Pandora while typing a blog (oh, like right now).  I thank the universe for creating musicians and music.  A world without music would be bleak and uninviting.  Art can get me by, but music is where it's at.  I need it to write, to draw, to think, and to heal.  I need it to survive.

And I know I am not the only one.  Because music heals the world.




How do you connect to music?  If not music, what do you see as your holy place?  Art?  Books?  Gardening?