(This week's edition was supposed to be about developing a nightly routine, BUT my computer decided to die with all my information on it, so I am posting this one instead. I apologize if you were looking for the nightly routine blog, but rest assured, it will be up soon!)
Silence is revered as mastery in many religious traditions. Monks who take a vow of silence are seen as masters of themselves. They not only are silent, but live in silence as well. It takes a lot of discipline to be able to be comfortable with this. Many of us fill our days with useless noise and useless words. We need words to fill the void, unable to deal with what the silence brings.
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” --Ambrose Bierce
But what does it bring? For some of us, it's anxiousness. I, myself, have tinnitus and total silence brings a "wooshing" sound in my ears, like static. This can drive me absolutely crazy sometimes. But when I let in natural sounds, like rain or birds chirping from an open window (or going outside) the sound stops and the anxiety goes away. But barring physical issues like mine, the silence can bring us into our own thoughts. It can bring us clarity. Reverence. Reconnection. Stillness. Joy.
“Never complain, never explain. Resist the temptation to defend yourself or make excuses.” --Brian Tracy (one of my favorite non-fiction authors)
Though sometimes we are not always ready to hear them or deal with what silence can bring us. Sometimes that clarity is sorrow. Grief. Loneliness. Remorse. But every single thing we experience from silence is something to learn from. Good or bad, it can bring us to a better place at the end of the time spent with it. But for some, it's it's just plain fear. I think that's why so many people fill their days with noise: the TV is constantly on or the radio or some other distraction. People also fill up their days with non-stop talking or talking about things that don't matter. Trivial things or gossip. They are afraid of what silence might bring. They fear they won't matter anymore, that people will enjoy their silence more than when they speak. Or that they will be the ones who won't like themselves. Or that things unsaid might be important and bad things will happen if they don't say them. But the truth is, there will always be time to say what truly needs to be said. You just have to pick a better time to say them.
“Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.”--George Eliot
I once read an article many years ago about this woman who went to go visit her old friend who lived deep in the woods, on land inaccessible by car. I do not remember how they planned it all, but I know her old friend went to meet her by the roadside to show her the way onto her property. It was quite a long walk, too. The old friend lived off the land with her significant other. They hunted, and gathered plants and berries and other wild growing things in the woods. They also grew their own veggies on their land. Without electricity or gas, they had to can a large amount of their crops for the winter. They grew their own grain and made dense, heavy, non-yeasted breads (this always sounded delicious to me).
When the woman who was writing the article got to the destination with her friend, she talked non-stop. She wanted to know everything about how they lived. I have to admit, I'd be the same way, as it's a pretty interesting thing. But her friend just stared at her.
“Silence is only frightening to people who are compulsively verbalizing.” --William S. Burroughs
She said something like "Words are spoken too much in this world. We need to think carefully and then ponder the weight of our words and only speak when we have something to say that is better than silence". (I stole that last bit from a meme I saw last December. It struck a cord with me because of this article I read so many years ago because it was so similar.)
So the woman was taken aback, but then thought about it, and realized her old friend was right. Why did she feel the necessity to fill the silence with constant words? She accepted her friend's ways, and did as she was asked and spoke only when she had something important to say. She took this teaching and applied to her life back home, as well. And her life changed tremendously (more spiritually than anything).
So many of the wisest people speak the least.
And why do we think that is? It's because they ponder and think before speaking (not something I am so good at myself LOL). They realize most words are unnecessary. Unlike most people who think of something and then immediately say what's on their mind, wise people observe, listen, and ponder, and then and only then, eventually speak. And not only that, they speak as few words as possible. I, myself, haven't met too many of these wise people in my lifetime, but I have met a few. And those people have left a profound effect on me, that will last for the rest of my life.
So, let's check out this week's challenge, shall we?
Challenge #1:
Let's get silent.
In Denise Linn's book "Quest", she talks about dedicating a day to silence. Now, I know not everyone can dedicate an entire day, some of us have jobs where have to talk. But, you can try a few hours, or both before and after work. But, if you can put aside an entire day, you will get the most out of it. You can even ask your whole family to participate! (Isn't that a dream? Quiet kids for a whole day?) And if they can't participate, you can do it on your own, you just have to be clear to your family (and anyone who engages you) that you can't talk for an entire 24 hours. And no writing things down to communicate (that means NO social media or emails, also). Denise suggests making a note card that says "I have taken a vow of silence, so I cannot speak" to show to people when they are asking to you talk to them.
“Speak only if it improves upon the silence.”--Mahatma Gandhi
Now, this doesn't mean you can veg out with Netflix all day, either. No TV, no internet, no news (and this includes the radio), no reading books. If you feel yourself going a little mad, then go for a walk. Notice things. Ponder. Reflect. Do some yoga. Meditate. Hula hoop (or if you're like me, attempt it, fail, and the laugh at yourself). Relax in the sun. Commune with your higher-self. Create art. See what you can hear in the silence. Pick any random daily tool (only the silent ones) to do during your quiet. But don't fill your day up so much you have no time to just sit with yourself. Silence should calm your mind. Only use the active tools when you need to (I have a form of severe anxiety, and being active keeps it at bay).
Learn to love silence.
After your day is up, think about how it went for you. Were you able to keep to it? Did you like it? If so, how can you incorporate more silence into your everyday life? How many times did you want to say something? You can keep track of that on a whiteboard or a notebook during your day of silence, so that you can see just how much you actually speak. When you see it on paper, you might be astonished by how quickly it fills up. So many trivial words are spoken daily by most humans. What did you notice that you wanted to say, and didn't, that wasn't worth saying at all? I bet more than you think right now while you're reading this. It's really hard to understand something that we're born to do. We're taught to talk as toddlers, but we're never taught how much to talk, or are we taught what we should be talking about. We're a world of speakers, not listeners, or observers.
“Always have something to say. The man who has something to say and who is known never to speak unless he has, is sure to be listened to.” --Dale Carnegie
Write it all down in a notebook or computer. Do this challenge as much as you can in the coming months, and see how each time is different. Do it in different seasons and compare, also.
If you take the challenge, please come back here and let us know how you did and how it made you feel. We'd love to hear about your experiences.
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